Day Three - March 26, 2005 - Exploring the Strip

I really couldn’t help waking up at 6 a.m. --- technically, it was already 9 a.m. in Toronto. So, instead of lying around in bed and trying to fall back asleep --- despite promises that we’d be able to sleep in today, I tried to quietly move around and get ready for the day, figuring it’d save time later and that I wouldn’t be hogging the bathroom when somebody else needed it.

But after I had brushed my teeth, I figured I might as well change since I was up. And because Flo was up, too, I thought the two of us could walk over to the Bellagio to pick up the tickets for tonight’s show.

We were set to see “O” --- which was the main thing I’d been looking forward to about Vegas.

I’d even bought the tickets to see the show before I booked the plane and hotel tickets! I’d discussed at length with the ticket salesperson about the pros and cons of sitting centre row but far away and sitting five rows back from the stage, but off to the side.

I was a little wary about the fact that they were “wet seats.”

“Well, it’s not like you’re at Sea World or anything,” the ticket person assured me.

Jen and I joked it would have been funny if we’d shown up in our bathing suits.

It was nice outside that day when Flo and I made our way to the Bellagio. We noticed quite a few people already up, jogging up and down the streets. We took our time, strolling at a leisurely pace, and taking in the sights and sounds around us.

I had one of Aaron’s walkie talkies tucked into my bag. We’d had a hard time figuring out the frequency at first, because we kept picking up bits and pieces of other people’s conversations.

I think all of the static hiss and strange voices woke up Jen.

I tried to tell her to go back to sleep --- and I’m not sure if she and Aaron did, but I was ready to get out there.

At the Bellagio, there was already a huge line-up for the buffet. It was insane. When Flo and I made our way through the casino, it was a little bizarre to see people already at the gaming tables. I bet some of them were still there from the night before.

When we made our way to the box office, it wasn’t open yet.

I insisted that we check out the washrooms at the Bellagio while we were there. And I’ve gotta say, they’re the best washrooms I’ve ever had the chance to pee in.

When I finished, I ducked into the pay phone area to use the walkie talkie, trying to get a hold of Aaron and Jen to let them know that we’d be a little late heading back to the hotel because the box office wasn’t open yet, but the walkie talkies didn’t work in the hotel.

I did something very Chinese at that point.

I noticed a Bellagio pen and pad of paper. Without really thinking, I swept both into my bag and walked away.

Flo and I decided to go walk around a bit while we waited for the box office to open. While we were walking down the semi-circular drive, we saw the water fountains “practising” or doing a run through. We watched for a bit and then made contact with Jen and Aaron, who told us they’d be meeting us in a little while.

While Flo and I were walking around the outside of the Paris hotel, we noticed all these coupon books. I found a coupon for $2 off the Eiffel Tower ride and made a point to tuck it into my bag.

We managed to pick up the tickets and meet Jen and Aaron back outside. What do you know? The walkie talkies actually came in pretty handy.

We decided to grab breakfast at a boulangerie in the Paris hotel. The breakfast croissant there came with either orange juice or coffee and it only cost $4.25 --- which wasn’t too bad.

The place was pretty crowded, though, and we had Flo and Aaron try to find seats while Jen and I got the food.

Aaron marvelled over how strange it was to be in the middle of Vegas, but eating in what felt like a Parisian café.

Though I love the Bellagio, I think Paris is amazing. It’s so quaint and charming.

With the $2 coupon, the trip up the Eiffel Tower only cost us $7 each. If it had cost more, I think we would have balked and said, “To hell with it.”

It was really neat making our way up the escalators and having a view of the casino as we crossed the walk-through.

As part of their ploy to rip even more money off of the tourists, they have each group pose at the base of the Eiffel Tower, hoping that we’d be suckered in by the picturesque backdrop into buying a souvenir picture.

Aaron muttered that they were just wasting their time and resources doing this.

We were part of the first group up that day.

I think the elevator attendant was the only person in the whole casino who was actually French.

As we made our way up, she told us that the Eiffel Tower in Vegas was exactly half the size of the one in France and that it was built using the same blueprint as the original.

When we reached the top, I was a little disappointed to see a wire mesh obscuring our view --- though I don’t know what I was really expecting. I mean, if they’d left it wide open, I would have probably glued myself to the walls, unable to move an inch forward, for fear of plummeting to my death. (Like I said before, I’m not too good with heights.)

The view from there was really amazing, though. I have a feeling it would have been even better at night, when we could have seen the fountain show across the street.

The attendant said that on really windy days like this one, the Bellagio forgoes the water ballet.

We slowly made our way around the tower and took several pictures of the strip.

Jen had a hard time picking out the Boardwalk and we kept trying to point it out to her.

“I don’t understand why I can’t see it!” she kept saying.

At the Flamingo, there’s a wildlife habitat that’s home to Chilean flamingos, penguins, swans and ducks. But the real draw to Aaron was the fact that he’d found a hotel where he could play the slots and find himself on a rather lucky winning streak.

Maybe it’s because I have an insanely small bladder, but I needed to pee as soon as I got to the hotel and I left everyone to walk through the habitat while I went in search of a washroom.

If you’re not a smoker, Vegas casinos can be a form of hell.

I swear to God, there was a woman smoking in the can. It was probably one of the saddest and most disgusting things I’d ever seen.

When I made my way back out again to meet up with the others, it turned out they’d already done the rounds and were now hanging around, waiting for me.

When Flo stopped to take a quick pee break, Aaron settled himself in front of a machine and promptly won a small sum of money playing the penny slots. Note the glazed look on his face as he lifts his hand up, poised to pull the crank one more time.

You know what’s neat, though? You can feed the receipt into an automatic machine that’ll give you your money --- I suppose it’s supposed to cut down on the time you’d otherwise have to wait for a cashier to give you the money. But waiting is waiting.

We walked up towards the Venetian, kind of debating whether or not we really wanted to take a gondola ride. It didn’t really seem like the gondoliers were doing any real work, hefting our weight inside the boat. It looked like they had a little motor under the gondola to help propel us along. So, instead, we decided we’d just walk around inside and see what it was like.

One of the best things about the Venetian is the ceiling. If you look up, you’ll find a really cool painting. Of course, it’s not as impressive as something you’d find in a place like --- oh, I don’t know --- the Sistine Chapel, maybe? I mean, you can be damned sure that no guy had to lie on his back for months at a time, meticulously painting something on the ceiling.

But still, it was impressive enough to make us tilt our heads back and admire for a little while.

When we first got to Vegas, Jen said she didn’t think four days was enough to explore the Strip. But what we’d begun to notice was that, if you’re not a gambler, there wasn’t really much to do after awhile.

All the casinos start to look the same after awhile. And even though it’s cool to walk around and look at the architecture of some of these places, it’s all basically the same in the end.

We crossed the street to check out Treasure Island, which has a free pirate show at night. But while during the day, not much was going on. We couldn’t help but notice they were using the huge space across the street, next to the Venetian, to build a gigantic-sized Walgreen’s. It was kind of strange.

From the inside of Treasure Island, you can actually take a free tram that connects to the Mirage, which is right next door. And even though it was probably faster to walk there, there’s a certain novelty about taking a tram --- especially when it’s free.

The Mirage during the day looks a whole lot better than it does at night. For one thing, we could actually see the “tropical rainforest” that’s right in the front lobby housed under a 100-foot-high dome with palm trees and waterfalls and gurgling lagoons.

But we only took a few steps in before we backed out again. There wasn’t really much else to see in the Mirage. We decided to make our way back to the Venetian, instead, to grab a ride on the Monorail down to the bottom of the Strip so that we could make our way up from the Luxor and back to the Boardwalk.

And I swear, this is one thing that I will always look back on and just shake my head over and wonder what the hell I was thinking.

A one way trip on the Monorail costs $3. An all-day pass costs $10.

I figured it made the most sense to get the all-day pass --- which meant we’d probably need to use it at least four times to make it worthwhile.

The trip from the Venetian down to the MGM Grand was trip #1. And it was the only trip that we took on the Monorail. Of course, we didn’t realize that at the time.

Flo actually spoke to me in Chinese while we were on the train. She told me to casually look over at the guy standing next to me. He had some weird birth mark on his nose. It was kind of hard not to stare, even though if I was in his position, I would have probably said something if I caught somebody staring at me.

The MGM Grand isn’t much to look at from the outside, but it’s actually really neat inside. It’s a lot more modern and there seems to be a lot more going on inside. You could walk around for what seems like forever and still not see it all.

It’s supposed to be one of the largest hotels in the world, with over 5,000 rooms, and come November 26 this year, it’ll be home to Ka, the biggest Cirque du Soleil show yet.

Each Cirque du Soleil show has a theme and Ka was inspired by the Egyptian belief that a spiritual double of our bodies follows us from one life to the next. I was more than a little disappointed that it wasn’t playing while we were there and just standing in front of the doors made me think that a return trip to Vegas was in order.

The entrance to the new Cirque show was right next to the Wolfgang Puck Bar and Grill, which was where we were planning on having dinner later that night when we met up with Peter.

We figured that since Wolfgang had been on Iron Chef, a restaurant bearing his name was probably pretty damn good.

We joked that we’d grudgingly allow Peter to treat us to dinner.

Much to my mortification, Aaron had sent Peter a copy of our itinerary, totally forgetting that I’d written that out as a joke. God knows what Peter was thinking if he bothered to actually read through it.

The only free thing to see at the MGM was the lion habitat, where, for a fee, you could get your picture taken with a baby lion. The trainer had to constantly stick his hand out in front of the lion’s mouth and then snap it away at the last minute to have the photographer quickly snap a picture.

We decided to take a pass on the picture.

We did linger around the gift shop for a bit, though. Jen plunked a furry lion’s hat on top of her head and I actually thought she was going to buy it. She kept saying how warm it’d be.

When we made our way back outside, we crossed over to the Excalibur, which was where we were initially going to stay --- except Martin’s friend, Jim, had complained it looked too “childish.”

To a certain degree, I could see his point. It looked like a castle --- but that was kind of neat, too.

The inside of the casino was pretty vibrant, though. Aaron asked us if we needed to pee again and I thought he needed to make a quick trip to the washroom, but what he really meant was that, while we were taking our time, he’d plant himself down in front of one of the slots.

Some of the hotels actually connect to one another. Luckily, there was a way to make our way through the Excalibur to the Luxor and while we made our way through the casino, we saw this gift shop.

Aaron asked if we could take a stop and we found all these really stylish, pimp-like hats. (Not that I’d know what a pimp would wear. I just keep thinking about that Seinfeld episode where Kramer borrows the jacket from a production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dream Coat and he’s mistaken for a pimp as he struts down the street with a bejewelled stick.)

Do you know what there’s a lot of in Vegas? Moving sidewalks. Isn’t that ultimate in laziness?

Rather than walk, we got onto the moving sidewalk and watched the ads around us.

There was this strip show called “Thunder From Down Under”, which we joked about going to see. Now that I think about, we probably should have gone, just for the hell of it --- it would have been a riot to tell people about later on.

The Luxor was probably the one hotel that I looked forward to seeing the most.

A 30-storey, black glass pyramid that sits at the south end of the strip, the Luxor seemed every bit as mysterious to me as the real Pyramids would have been. I mean, when you’re standing at the base of the Luxor, you can’t help but look up and wonder how the hell they managed to build that thing or how hotel guests manage to get up to their rooms, for that matter.

Later on that night, when we were having dinner with Peter, he told us he’d actually stayed at the Luxor before and explained that there were inclinators that travel sideways at an angle to take guests up to their rooms. (The web site says it’s at a 39 degree angle --- just in case you were curious.)

By the time we made our way outside, it was actually pretty warm.

It would have been nice if the Monorail was just right there and could have saved us the hike back up towards New York-New York.

With its busy façade of a faithfully replicated New York skyline and a roller coaster called the Manhattan Express winding its way through the exterior, the hotel looked like one of the more fun and interesting places on the strip.

New York-New York is also home to yet another Cirque show called Zumanity, which seemed a little R-rated.

“We should have gone to see that one,” Aaron and Jen both said, when we saw the posters hanging inside.

The ads seemed to promise lots of flesh and titillation. The show is supposed to explore “the limits of human sexuality.”

“We have to come back and see this,” Aaron said when we left.

I’d pulled out the Monorail map to see where we were. As usual, we’d left the carefully drawn-up itinerary in the hotel and I vaguely remembered that Mr. Lucky’s 24/7 was at the Hard Rock Casino, which is off the strip.

How could we not go to Mr. Lucky’s? It’d been mentioned in several Las Vegas guide books and it was even profiled on Rachel Ray’s $40-A-Day show on the Food Network as a good place to go for cheap eats.

And how can you resist when Rachel Ray is moaning orgasmically over a piece of steak and shrimp?

Now, the thing is, on the map, it didn’t look like a far walk. All we needed to do was walk down past the MGM Grand, hang a left at the next major intersection (where, for some reason, I decided to run in front of a car…wasn’t really thinking at that point because I was delirious from the heat, I suppose), and then take a short walk down yet another street before turning into the Hard Rock.

In reality, do you have any idea how long we walked?

45 minutes.

45 agonizing minutes under the hot sun --- during which, I took off my jean jacket, and then my sweater. If I hadn’t reached the Hard Rock in time, I’m pretty sure I would have stripped off my tank top, too, and shown up completely naked.

We couldn’t even see the Hard Rock and several times, I had to endure repeated questions of, “Are you sure you know where you’re going?”

When we finally got to the Hard Rock, we were too exhausted to do much of anything besides slump dejectedly into a booth and impatiently wait for the waitress to bring us our order.

Actually, Jen was the only one who managed to walk without a problem. The rest of us are out-of-shape.

Okay. The $7.77 steak and shrimp combo? It wasn’t exactly worth walking 45 minutes for. We sat silently chewing, sawing through our meat and forcing every last bite down in an effort to make it seem like it was the best damn piece of meat we’d ever put in our mouths.

Sure, the price was great, but I wasn’t looking forward to walking all the way back to the strip.

I made it clear to the guys that I’d shell out for a cab to take us back to the strip to check out M&M World at the Showcase Mall.

Our taxi driver, however, started taking us in the wrong direction --- towards an outlet mall that was off the strip.

I might have been in Vegas for only two days, but I knew enough to know we were going in the wrong direction. He simply turned directions and stopped the meter, asking in his languid drawl if we thought the price was fair.

He cut through the back lot of the MGM Grand and every time he sailed over a speed bump, Aaron and I jolted out of our seats and Aaron would make this funny little hiccupping noise.

Aaron might have come to Vegas for Celine Dion and I might have gone for Mr. Lucky’s --- though I’d insist to the others that it was really for O --- but I think it’s safe to say that Jen went for M&M World, being the chocolate lover that she is.

With four storeys and every conceivable product bearing the M&M logo, it’s a little hard for the die-hard M&M fan not to feel like she’s died and gone to heaven.

Jen couldn’t help loading up on M&Ms at the dispensers, getting a little bit from the rainbow coloured wall, while Aaron found a little cow dotted with M&Ms.

Flo and I didn’t buy anything. I can take or leave M&Ms.

Besides, we wound up at Walgreen’s, where we could have bought a whole lot more M&Ms for a whole lot less.

We picked up some snacks for the plane ride home, knowing enough now that we probably wouldn’t be fed on the ride back.

We headed back to the hotel to quickly shower and get ready for the show, which was supposed to start at 7:30 p.m.

It was warm enough at that point for me to change into the skirt and t-shirt that I’d brought with me specifically for the shows.

Aaron felt compelled to give us this mini-lecture before the show, telling us that when we met Peter, if he wanted us to take a cab to the MGM, we shouldn’t make a big production about how we needed to use the Monorail again. (Okay. I admit it. I was a little hardcore on my insistence that we use the Monorail again. Even if it was out of the way and easier to just walk to the next place.)

Jen and I decided to get a glass of Chardonnay before the show. While we sipped our white wine at the bar and watched the fountains through the window, Aaron and Flo sat at the slots. It was the first time we’d actually decided to do a bit of drinking.

It was kind of exciting just making our way to our seats. The theatre was beautiful and sitting five rows from the stage promised to give us a really great view of the performance.

Drinking the wine before the show was a big mistake. I thought I could hold out on peeing, but with minutes to go before the show was set to start, I knew I had to be kidding myself if I thought I could sit through a show about water and not want to pee all over my seat.

I ran like a mad woman, dashing to the washroom and back.

But the minute I got back, I needed to go again.

Memo to self: refrain from drinking any type of liquid before a show starts.

We were really off to the side, but when the curtain opened up, it didn’t really pose any sort of problem in watching the show.

The show is supposed to be inspired by the concept of infinity and features everything from synchronized swimming to aerial hoops and high diving.

There was so much going on that if you blinked, you wound up missing something.

When the show started, there was a blast of fog from the ceiling as a ballerina emerged, suspending in mid-air, spiralling as performers ran through the audience towards the stage.

One thing that’s not-so-great about sitting up front? The chance of being pulled up on stage. Didn’t realize this at first, but when they pulled this guy on stage, it turned out that he wasn’t really part of the audience. He was actually part of the show.

But I didn’t realize this until he was yanked bodily off the stage and then “forced” to jump off a high dive platform.

There were times when the acrobats were using the aerial hoops are jumping off the barges that kind of made you gasp. I mean, there was a pool of water, but it wasn’t exactly an Olympic-sized pool and you couldn’t help holding your breath a little, afraid that one of them might land on the stage and break their neck instead of into the water.

And those four Mongolian contortionists? You watch them twisting their bodies and you can’t help but think, “Huh. I didn’t think the body could even bend that way.”

I think one of the more amazing sights was the fire act, where some guy was actually lit on fire --- and he just sat there as the flames engulfed him, calmly sitting there, reading the newspaper.

The main reason I wanted to see “O” was because I figured that if there was only one Cirque show that we could get around to seeing, it’d have to be this one --- it’s the only Cirque show that you can see in Las Vegas because of its water stage.

You could see how it was possible for the other shows to actually tour, but it seemed unlikely that “O’ was something that could be easily dismantled and taken out on the road.

We also opted to see the 7:30 p.m. show, even though they had another show at 10:30 p.m.

It’s just mind-boggling how these performers do everything that they do…not once, but twice in one night!

When the show was finished, we were supposed to meet Peter outside of the theatre.

I’d initially planned on picking up something there, but figured it was equally easy to simply pull images off the Internet and stick them in this journal, instead.

Peter was waiting for Aaron inside the gift shop and when he emerged, I was a little surprised --- he looked almost exactly the way he did in his picture…except, he wasn’t as tall as I’d imagined. And when I say “exactly”, I mean exactly. He was wearing a tank top and hat and baggy shorts just like the picture.

For some reason, Jen was thinking the same thing.

When we’d gone over to the MGM Grand earlier that day, Aaron was told by the maitre’d that we didn’t need reservations and that we could just walk in as long as it was before 10:30 p.m.

But as we glanced at the time, we knew we wouldn’t make it, so we walked across the street to Paris and went into the first restaurant that we saw, called Ah Sin. (Which was kind of funny for both Flo and I because our cousin’s name is Ah Sin.) The maitre’d assured us that the food was fabulous and as Peter said, how could we doubt the guy?

I didn’t really think we’d be eating Chinese food in a Parisian setting, but the food wasn’t too bad. We ordered a whole bunch of things from the menu and shared.

We all made our way back to the Boardwalk so that Aaron could pick up an overnight bag and the rest of us could change into pants and head over to the MGM Grand on the off-chance that we might bump into Martin and the boys over there.

Martin had left several messages, wanting to meet up with Flo so that they could spend some time together.

Instead of taking the Monorail --- like I’d wanted to --- we walked.

It was probably faster, anyway.

The MGM is a really neat place to drink and spend the night. I kept forgetting that it was a typical Saturday night and didn’t understand, at first, why there were long line-ups into the clubs.

We settled for drinks at the bar and sitting at the slots so that we could talk. After only a few drinks, Flo insisted on going back to the hotel at that point. She was all splotchy after one and a half drinks, which she’d been sipping slowly. She handed me the rest of her whisky sour and I drained it in a few gulps, not really feeling the effects.

When we got back to our room, Martin called and said he’d be coming down. Jen and I had already changed into our pyjamas and were lounging around in bed when he arrived. We didn’t realize all four guys were coming down, too, and Flo initially told them, “You can’t come in. They’re naked.”

Alarmed, they automatically turned around and started walking away when she told them she was joking.

They came inside and sat down with us, telling us about what they’d been up to.

“How much money did you guys lose?” I asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Alex said, with a shake of his head.

It turns out Jake had lost $500 in one day and that they’d spent more than $600 at an Italian restaurant at the MGM Grand.

They hadn’t spent the entire time in the casinos, playing poker like I thought they would. Instead, they’d caught the David Copperfield show and went out to a shooting range, where the target was a picture of Osama bin Laden.

Alex, it turned out, had hooked up with an older, married woman and was so busy making out with her at the casino tables that he wasn’t paying enough attention to the poker game at hand.

They joked that Jake had managed to get lucky, too, and that he got the pleasure of sleeping with Jim.

Jake didn’t seem as weird as I thought he’d be --- considering he seems sort of obsessed with Martin. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was uncomfortable when he noticed Martin and Flo leave the room.

At one point, it finally dawned on Jim that Martin and Flo weren’t in the room with us anymore.

“Where are they?”

“They went downstairs to your room,” I told him.

He rolled his eyes. “Aw, c’mon! Give me a break. Where’d they really go?”

“Downstairs to your room,” I repeated.

He shook his head in disbelief. “No way. Marty’s not like that. They’re probably downstairs in the casino or walking around.”

I never said that they were doing anything in the room. I just said they’d gone downstairs and I knew that they were probably just sitting around and talking. But Jim seemed to think I was implying something else. It was sweet, in a way, that he felt compelled to leap to Martin’s defence and insist that his friend was an “honourable” guy.

It was funny when Jen started guessing how much each of the guys weighed and inadvertently implied that Jim and Alex were both a little overweight.

When they finally left at 2 a.m., they got all formal on us and shook our hands. We didn’t bother getting up. We just lay in bed and watched them leave.

I don’t even remember when Flo came back to the room.

Toronto time was 5 a.m. and I felt like I’d been up 24 hours straight.